We have a little problem in this country, nay, world, with racism. Somehow, after Rome burned to the ground or Pompeii was destroyed by a volcano, white people rose from the ashes as the superior Phoenix of skin color. Or something to that effect. Throughout history, whites slaughtered the reds, enslaved the blacks, made fun of the yellows, gassed the olives, and ousted browns. Lather, rinse, repeat.

So much hate and violence has been perpetrated by white people over something as mundane as a skin color outside of their own. Ironically, white is the combination of all colors and a mix of races. Which means, yes, the colors they spat on over the centuries are ones that are woven into their DNA and epidermis. They must hate themselves. At the very least, they are jealous that other races, for the most part, are decisive about their visage. They must be green with envy, which is a skin color similar to a certain olive-toned Messiah they worship. How can someone be that noble and pure? It is like he was designed in a lab by intelligent persons.

Be that as it may, color is a relative thing. It exists on a spectrum, and the intensity depends on what it is placed against. As complimentary opposites, red and green tones together make both look more intense. Does that mean positioning a Native American against a Semite makes one appear more threatening and the other dirtier?  More to the point, are they more hateful?

As we evolve as a society and become more integrated, Jewish can be lumped in as white dudes, and Elizabeth Warren is Native American . . . ish. It leaves us with the conundrum of judging the person by character when our ancestors have told us otherwise. Yet, we still do let a person’s skin color drive our perceptions. Which begs the question. That’s it. One does not follow that with an actual question. Whether we mean to or not, we draw conclusions about swaths of people based on specious assumptions.

Neil deGrasse Tyson is a science prodigy with advanced degrees in multiple disciplines, and Jessica Simpson thought tuna was aquatic chicken. Pair the two, and the contrast is even more stark. One is as dark as a singularity, while the other is a snowflake in freshly fallen snow. The contrast in intelligence goes without saying.

That is enough exposition building up to a larger point, which I will get to momentarily. Racial prejudice is a tricky concept with no empirical evidence to support justifying its existence. Dr. Tyson agrees with the Big Bang Theory to explain how the universe started. Is there a Big Bang equivalent for racial prejudice? How did any other skin color, except for the aforementioned technicolor dreamskin, become abnormal? Was it always? If there is science that supports the idea that we are at fault for what we are born as, I haven’t seen it.

Oh wait, there are psychopaths and pedophiles. They came out that way, and we hate them regardless if they keep their impulses in check. Because, the real threat is there that they can hurt innocent people just because their brains aren’t wire properly. I guess skin color can be offensive and hurtful, as well. The blackness is such an eyesore, eh?

Here is a thought experiment. If a woman is told by both a light-skinned black man and a white man who just emerged from his daily tanning bed session, that she needs to leash her dog, who would she feel more offended by? If she calls 911 to report that she is being threatened by an African American man, who do you think she is referring to?

More to the point, which man is more responsible for the way he looks, and which for her behavior? There is more justification in judging a man who risks his health in order to look black, than a black man whose father was Neil deGrasse Tyson and mother was Jessica Simpson. Not to mention, the woman who judges both of them.

Which leads me to my (hopefully) obvious point. Judging by race is stupid. Judging by skin color is blind. Judging by individual character is smart. It is that simple.

The only skin color we should be racist against is orange. Orange should be the color we rail against. Orange is narcissistic, malignant, opportunistic, deceitful, manipulative, ignorant . . a rainbow of negative traits in one, unnaturally colored blob. Orange is not born that way, so there is no guilt in blaming the innocent. Orange is made in a lab, and enabled. Move over White Privilege. Orange is in the White House.

Orange is already identified by plenty of richly deserved pejoratives, so we are set there. I am partial to the one I created, Orange Orc. He emerges from his lair wielding a golf club and a bible, pounding on his chest while he blabbers nonsense as orcs are want to do. Even though orcs of lore avoid light, this one will stare straight into the sun. Let’s face it, like Tolkien’s creatures, the Orange Orc looks slimy and smelly. Those lips, like they were fashioned by the livers of his gullible prey. Sad!

Get out of our country, ya’ freak! You aren’t wanted here.

If there really were any justice, the skin color truly warranting discrimination would be artificial orange.